your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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