I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
