Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
