Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
