you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
