I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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