RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
