Umm I'm too high to move.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
