Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
