first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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