she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Randomize
