Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize
