I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize