Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i think i have two assholes
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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