apparently the secret to your success is patron
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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