so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
