On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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