Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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