Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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