Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
