In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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