did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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