my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
