STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
jump out the window naked night went bad
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
