i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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