you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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