Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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