You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Omg I joined a choir last night...
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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