i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize