remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
