We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I feel like a drive thru vagina
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
