he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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