just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
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