I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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