i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize