I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
