What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
