Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize