ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
