you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
