Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
