AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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