they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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