I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
