He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
so let's talk penis.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
