batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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