Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
