This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
