FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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