ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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