I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Just cropdusted the office
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
