his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
