We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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