Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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