Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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