I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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