I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize