i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
