areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
