YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Randomize
