Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
