I like to think it a success when the cops are called
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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