The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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