He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
