Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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