is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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