It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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