girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
