He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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