So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
