So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
