Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Farmville is her only friend.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
