Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
